What you do—and who you are—matters more than you may realize. And seemingly small acts of kindness can make a big difference in someone’s life. As Ian Maclaren reminds us:
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
I still remember a kindness from over thirty years ago, and have often thought of it as an example to live by. It had a profound affect on me because it was given so nonchalantly, in passing, yet it was deeply thoughtful.
The patch on my old YPSS hat
The summer after my freshman year in college, I worked at the Fishing Bridge service station in Yellowstone National Park. I pumped gas, checked oil and air filters, patched tires, that sort of thing.
It was a fun job, working outside, playing hacky-sack during the slow times, hiking on days off.
Although I’d had a job before, I had never had to count back change. It’s a simple thing, but I wasn’t used to doing it.
One day early in the summer, a man who looked to be in his late 50s stopped at the gas station. I walked up to his window and his eyes lit up with surprise. I guess back then it wasn’t common for a woman to be pumping gas. While I checked his car’s oil and air filter, he kept going on and on about how he’d never had a woman pump gas for him. Needless to say, I found his giddy condescension quite irritating and was looking forward to sending him on his way.
When it came time to pay, we were standing outside his car. He handed me a 100 dollar bill and I shortchanged him by 50 dollars. Oops.
When he realized my mistake, his big smile evaporated into a frown. I felt bad about it, and I felt stupid. I also knew I’d reinforced his chauvinistic view of women, and that added to my embarrassment.
Just at that moment, Joe, one of the guys who worked at the station, walked by us, counting cash in his hand, and said “I wish I had a nickel for every time I’ve done that.” It completely diffused the situation. And it made me feel better; I certainly was not the first person to accidentally shortchange someone.
The man grumpily recounted his change, then got into his car and drove away.
That is still one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me. For me. It was such a little comment, said in passing, but at that moment, when I felt so young and exposed and embarrassed, it was a huge act of kindness. And he didn’t have to say it.
Thanks, Joe.
When have you done or said something just to be kind?
What is an example of a kindness that you remember?